A 28-year-old woman wrote that she is having some difficulties getting her boyfriend to propose to her a second time after she rejected his first wedding proposal. The letter expressing her confusion on how to handle this dilemma, detailed that she and her 33-year-old boyfriend have two children together.
With the arrival of their first child when she was 25-year-old, her boyfriend made the first proposal of marriage, but she explained that she didn’t believe that they were ready for marriage.
“He was living at his parents’ home, and I told him that when he leaves there and was willing for us to rent a place of our own, we could consider getting married,” she disclosed to Tell Me Pastor. Another detail that discouraged her from saying yes to tying the knot is the fact that her partner was not settled in a permanent job.
However, by the time she got pregnant with her second child he was permanently employed.
According to the anonymous writer, things were improving for them and she “did not want to have two children outside of wedlock”. Hence she approached him with the topic of marriage, but he did not welcome the discussion. He told her that having a second child without being married would not “hurt” her. Without pressuring the issue any further, they resumed the way they were.
The letter continued by saying that the 28-year-old woman had three sisters who are all married and seeing her sisters creates a feeling of embarrassment since she is the only one living with a man in a common-law relationship.
She briefly mentioned that while her father had stopped asking her when she was going to get married after she gave birth to her second child, her mother often discusses the matter with him. Feeling more embarrassed after the second child was born, the writer admitted that she had even stopped attending church.
When she was attending church her common-law husband, would only drop her off and pick her up without ever entering the church.
Resulting from their situation, they do not issue home invitations to any of the church members. However, the children, who are still attending Sunday School, are described as “chatty chatty”, discussing everything they see at home with their friends.
The writer concluded that she loved her boyfriend dearly, but she thinks that she is being “punished” for refusing marriage when he had offered. “I am ready to marry this man now,” she added. “But every time I raise the matter he does not give me a good answer.”
In her explanation, she said that her children are attending good schools, and the couple has made a down payment on a townhouse. She was only missing the ring to seal the deal.
She admitted that she has even considered if he was cheating, but he denied being involved with anyone else.
“He said that I embarrassed him when I told him that he wasn’t ready when I had our first child. I did not want to go and live in his parents’ house,” she wrote and added once again that she was now ready to marry him.
As she closed her letter she begged the pastor to give her advice on what to do.
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