A 23-year-old woman recently wrote a letter to Tell Me Pastor asking for his fatherly advice on a situation that she got herself into when she dated a married farmer at the age of 16.
The young woman disclosed her name only as T and mentioned the dire situation that led her to associate herself with this older man. She indicated that she grew up poor with her mother and many days they found it hard to find food to eat. It was then that this farmer who raised chicken and goats came to her rescue as he would supply her with meat to take home to her family.
T wrote that at one point when she brought the chicken home, her mother’s remarks were ‘What a way you lucky’. Without questioning further about where the chicken came from, the young lady stated that she and her mother was able to have the chicken for dinner and since then, the days of eating chicken back were finally over.
Further to that, T described how the situation escalated when the farmer told her that he had developed feelings for her and invited her to his home when his wife is not there. She stated that she was apprehensive knowing that the man was married, however, she went regardless. Her mother heard of this and warned her not to go back.
T further shared that for a change, she asked the man for money instead of the usual meat and he gave her a $1000. She was then able to purchase necessities for herself but was soon in the same situation yet again. That same day, no meat was home and she told her mother that she was going by the farmer for chicken and she agreed.
At this time, however, she was sexually assaulted by the farmer, got pregnant and had to drop out of school. The farmer’s wife then heard of the pregnancy and confronted her, to which she denied and told her that the baby is for her boyfriend.
This is where the situation gets complicated as the young lady expressed that she and her boyfriend are still together, however, she still has sex with the married man. She mentioned that the child calls her boyfriend “daddy” and his actual father “grandpa”. His wife has also accepted the child as she cannot bear one of her own.
At the end of the letter, T expressed that she wishes to get married someday and she loves her boyfriend, however, she also has feelings for the farmer.
The young lady is now seeking advice on how she should proceed with this sticky love situation.