Falling In Love With Dead Husband’s Good Friend

As the saying always goes ‘we can’t help who we fall in love with’, a woman wrote sharing this same sentiment regarding the friend of her late husband.

A letter was published from a woman confessing her feelings for her late husband’s friend and her concerns about the criticisms she was likely to receive on March 29 in The Star.

While withholding her identity, the writer began by first stating that she is a widow who lost her husband seven years and six months ago. Living alone and hardly going out aside from the supermarket even though she has a car, the 60-year-old woman said that she does get lonely at times, but she would try to occupy her lonely moments by calling friends and chatting with them.

She also received frequent visits from one of her nephews and his wife who lives not too far from where she is. However, now she desires more than frequent checkups from her family, and she is considering starting a new relationship.

According to the man who was a friend of her late husband, he had been “admiring” her for a long time. The writer said he admitted to this after her husband died. “He said that now that my husband is dead, he would like to know if we could be friends,” she continued in her letter.

The unnamed woman said she initially declined his offer saying that people would assume they were together before the husband died, but the man told her not to be “concerned about that”. The letter went on to say that she started to have feelings for the man and had frequent talks with him over the phone.

Similarly to her, the man is also alone because his marriage ended with divorce as his wife left him.

The woman added that she spoke to her two daughters about the love the man has for her, and they questioned if she felt the same. “They asked me if I love him and I told them I don’t mind him, and both of them say that means that I love him,” she said.

Additionally, the writer stated that he cares for her a lot as he is always showing that he does. One of his acts of kindness the writer noted was the fact that he always returned home with ground provision for her whenever he travels to rural Jamaica.

Also, there was no concern in their budding relationship as the widow said they “get along very well” and they always had things to discuss when they spoke. There was one notable difference between the two of them, however, she was not worried about that affecting their possible union.

“Both of us go to different churches. I am Anglican and he is Moravian. I told him I am not leaving my church, and he doesn’t have to leave his church if we should ever get married,” the widow explained.

While she also mentioned that she knew she could not replace her dead husband, the man still reminds her of him a lot. 

On the other hand, there are some obvious differences between her late husband and his friend, such as the fact that her husband was short whereas the friend is tall, and her husband was fluent in Standard English, but the friend does not speak Standard English.

Even though her feelings continue to grow for the friend, she admitted that she at times feels if she gets involved with him, she would be lowering her standards. “Sometimes I think to be in a relationship with this man is to step down,” she wrote.

Pleading for advice she ended her letter.

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